Yesterday was filled with all kinds of bad news - layoffs, layoffs, layoffs. Doesn't bode well for us, or rather for me given that our move to Michigan pretty much rests squarely on my ability to get a job back there. Still, we're going forward with the plan, which is to move out of NYC at the end of June.

Today I see my doctor for the first time since having the baby. I was supposed to see her at 6 weeks, but I kept pushing the appointment since we were in Michigan for so long. I need to discuss my anxiety with her. I have no idea if this is normal or not, but I'm guessing not. I was hoping to avoid postpartum depression, but given my history of depression and anxiety I guess it's not a surprise that I probably have it. I hate the idea of medication, but at this point I know I can't go on like this. So if that's what I need, that's what I need.

J (my husband) is trying to find work for Friday. I'm filled with anxiety over it. Another day alone with the baby. It freaks me out. Why do I feel like this?